Fact or Fiction: Erotica Writer's Temptation

Here I am again, getting ready to write a new story and fighting the temptation to use my own sex life as inspiration. There's a delicate balance between autobiography and fiction when it comes to erotica. A good writer can make you feel like you're in the moment; that's the whole point. Naturally, thinking back to when you actually were living that moment can clarify your writing and make it feel more immediate. However... it always seems a little... icky, especially as I write primarily for a public website. Part of me wants to draw a distinct line between fact and fiction but in this genre, that's ridiculously impossible.

I'm a rather private person. Sometimes when I read over my published stories, I get a creepy-crawly feeling when I realize I pulled a scene from something I've experienced, whether or not I was thinking about it at the time. Quite a few of my friends are avid readers of my erotica and a few of them have flat-out asked me if the stories are autobiographical. I think that's why I find it easier to craft crazy scenarios involving policemen or student/teacher fantasies. The farther it is from who I am, the safer it is to write about it.

Much as I'd like to keep my sex life private, I suppose there's nothing wrong with a little inspiration. Sometimes a particularly good night can inspire erotica that's nothing like what actually happened. In fact, although none of my stories on Wicked Temptations are taken directly from "real life," I can see elements of autobiography in nearly all of them.

I had a party recently where we all got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to do a round-robin reading of one of my stories. Mortified even after several rum-and-diets, I cringed as the mixed group started reading Restaurant, a story they chose randomly from the Wicked Temptations collections. They went paragraph by paragraph. The group was half women, half men, with several couples in attendance. I didn't take a turn reading out loud but nearly everyone else did. It was a bizarre experience. Thankfully, my boyfriend didn't happen to be in the room and no one asked the familiar "So-- how much of this is true?" question. After they finished the story, everyone clapped... and two of the couples immediately excused themselves and went home! Hearing my work out loud helped me feel more comfortable with this job and with my own writing style. I watched the group appreciate my words and even (apparently) get aroused by them.

Although I'm not sure I'm ready to overtly use my own sex life in my erotica, I'm convinced it's impossible to block it out completely. With erotic stories, even the strangest plots or sexiest scenarios give way to physical realities that can't feel manufactured. That's not to say you can't write what you haven't lived-- with some of the bizarre stories on sites like Literotica and the Kristin Archives, I certainly hope scenarios can be fabricated. However, sensuality and memory are probably the most valuable tools for erotica writers.